Mommy Blog, Tips & Ideas
Posts tagged Boomerang Kids
Boomerang Kids and the Importance of Frank Communication
Mar 15th
If your children return home after being on their own for a while, it’s important that you establish rules before they move back into your home. With boomerang kids, frank communication is vital. The following ideas are some things you may want to discuss before agreeing to this new living arrangement.
Perhaps your child went away to college and that’s why they moved out of your home. Unless they already had a job lined up, you most likely kept their room available for them. They may not see a problem with coming home since everything’s ready and waiting for their return.
The problems arise, however, when your adult child believes they can return home and not contribute to the family in some way. They may think they will have the same relationship with you. This train of thought is the basis for many problems with boomerang kids and the reason why frank communication is so important.
If your returning child is able to work, you have every right to ask them to find a job – any job – that will help pay for the additional food and utilities of having them home. In fact, you may want to establish ground rules of what is expected of your child before allowing them to re-set up house in your home.
Here are some ground rules you may want to consider:
* Gainful employment is required to help pay for their own expenses as well as help with household expenses.
* Does your child’s returning home have a clear purpose such as saving for additional schooling or for deposits for an apartment?
* Does your child have a goal as to when they will leave your home?
* No alcohol or drugs in your home.
* They will help with chores around the home including doing their own laundry.
* They are welcome to share your meals, but they are expected to buy extras they would like.
* Will they have access to your vehicles or will they be expected to have their own?
Discuss how it may not be easy to move from treating your child as a child to treating your child as an adult. Ask them what expectations or concerns they may have. Listen to them carefully and try to understand. Let them know that you don’t want to control them, but that you do expect them to pitch in.
More than anything, do your best to keep communication lines open if you decide to allow your adult child to return home. Address any problem as soon as you notice it so life in your home will be peaceful and enjoyable for everyone involved.
Boomerang Generation Explained
Mar 15th
A term that you may not have heard before, but that is becoming more prevalent, is “boomerang generation.” You may not even know it exists. However, there are many families across the United States and the world that are in the midst of learning about the boomerang generation first-hand.
Most parents expect that when their children move out, they won’t be returning home. However, more and more often, grown children are returning home to roost in their parents’ “empty nest.” The boomerang generation is the generation of young adults that have moved out, for whatever reason, and then returned to home to live.
Children ages 18-21 are most likely to return home after going away for college and attempting to find a job after graduation. However, adult children up to age 34 may still see returning home as a viable option.
With the economic situation the way it is and the fact that many customer service jobs are being outsourced to foreign countries, these young adults may find that securing employment is difficult. Since they can’t pay their own way, they feel they have no recourse except to move back home with Mom and Dad.
It’s possible that some parents will balk at the idea of having their grown children move back in with them. After years of raising their children, they may feel like they’ve done their work and should be able to enjoy the freedom of not having children in the home.
Not everything about having your grown children move back in with you has to be negative, though. In fact, if the situation is considered carefully, it may be beneficial for both parents and child. The main reason for a child to move home may be economic in nature, but that’s not the only reason why an adult child may consider it.
Parents reaching their senior years may appreciate having another adult in the home rather than being sent to a nursing home. These adult children can still have their own social life, but might be expected to forgo some freedom to be available for aging parents.
Of course, those who feel the boomerang generation shouldn’t return home cite a lack of motivation to do better for themselves as a main reason. The young adult children may not have found suitable employment and have returned home to live until that employment could be secured. Since Mom and Dad are footing the bill, they may not look too seriously for a job and a means to get out on their own.
Whatever your feelings about the boomerang generation and their propensity to return home, parents can take advantage of having their children home in other ways. If they plan an extended vacation, there will be someone there to care for the home. They can ask the child to help maintain the home, and they might even be able to charge rent while their adult child is there.
The trend for young adult children to return home isn’t a new one; it’s just finally been given a fancy name. If your child asks to move back home, you may want to consider the ramifications. How will it affect your life and your marriage? Then make the best decision for all involved.
Recent Comments